Road meets Babies Oh dear
by Sainly-Sad
Summary: Road Kamelot is at the park...For fun...Nothing to do with Allen being nearby! She doesn't stalk him! She gets distracted by a laughing baby and...borrows it. Things can only go down hill from there... Rated M for humorous child abuse and stalking...
1. Introduction

Road Kamelot was in the park. She was bored and had nothing better to do. That was the only reason. She wasn't stalking Allen Walker...He just happened to be nearby...

She squealed in delight at seeing the swing set was free and ran over to it then jumped up and began swinging. She liked swings; that was all. It wasn't because she could see Allen when she was high enough on the swing to look over the fence.

She was distracted from spying on All- enjoying the swing by a young child laughing. She looked over and her jaw dropped slightly. She let out a 'naw' sound and watched the child playing in sand in front of her. It was so cute! Almost cuter then Allen when he was crying!

Then the little child, who was about two, got a lollypop and Road 'naw'ed again then jumped off the swing and ran over to the child, making a door to the Ark and snatching the child when the mother looked away for a second.

Well, this can't end well...-.-'

Next chapter will be longer, this is just the intro! ^-^ Although this story will probably only half one or two chapters...Unless it's really popular! ^-^


	2. Chapter one, Allen Chibi

Road steps back to admire her work. It was perfect! Who knew babies would make such great dolls! Although...She only had the one baby. Maybe she should think about getting new ones...?

For now she was happy to admire her work. The baby was now dressed as a pumpkin, and it was very cute. Road grabbed the baby who was staring at her in a mixture of shock and happiness. (Road had given it candy, mainly to keep it quiet.)

Road lead the little waddling pumpkin around the ark, looking for someone to show her work off to.

Unfortunately no one seemed to be around so Road went and sat down to sulk. What was the point of dressing the baby up when no one was around to appreciate it? She didn't want to change it yet as no one had seen it like this yet, so she sulked instead.

Suddenly to perfect idea came to her. She jumped up, startling the baby slightly and ran off.

She returned shortly after with a second baby, blinking in shock as it looked around the place that had very suddenly changed. Road carried it to her room. It was too young to walk, but it was still cute, and it would be even cuter when Road was finished with it!

She threw things around from inside her closet, looking for the costume she was thinking of. She grinned happily* and pulled out a white wig and mini Exorcist coat.

*Read 'evilly'

"Come here little baby!" She called; seeing the baby had, quite wisely, begun retreating; well, wriggling backwards. It couldn't walk yet, something it really wished it had taken more effort to learn.

Road caught the baby easily and shoved a candy in its mouth to stop it from crying. She'd make a great mother.

She dressed the baby up then grabbed some make-up and drew on Allen's cursed eye. She stepped back a little to look at the baby and made another squeal or 'naw'. "It's just like a chibi Allen!" She squealed and picked the baby up. She considered taking it out, but then decided this would be her chibi Allen! That decided she put it on a high shelf and gave it a small pile of candy.

She then remembered the first baby/pumpkin and pursed her lips slightly. "Um. Now where did I leave that...?" She pondered for a while then smiled widely. "Oh yeah! I remember!"

After walking into a few wrong rooms Road finally found the now sleeping baby. "Naw! It's even cuter as a sleeping pumpkin!" She crooned and decided to leave the orange blob for now.

She made it half way to her room before realising she'd probably forget where the baby was again and back paddled to pick the baby up carefully so it didn't wake up. She sung her song to it quietly and giggled a little as the pumpkin cuddled up to her.

She got to her room and put the pumpkin on her bedroom floor. She pouted slightly when she realised she had no more babies to dress up and cheered up again when she remembered there was an unlimited supply of babies!

Once again she made an arc door into a park and snatched a baby from a mother walking past who, after Road had already vanished, looked down in confusion at her now empty arms and looked at the floor, half expecting to have dropped her baby. She looked around frantically for it, but the baby was nowhere to be seen.


	3. Chapter two, Earl Chibi

Road rummaged through her closest, wondering for a moment why she actually had baby clothes in the first place, then remembered that dream she'd had one night about Allen...uh, marrying? her. Technically she'd locked him a cupboard, but the result was basically the same.

She smiled slightly and began humming to herself, remembering when she'd last spied on Allen and had managed to catch him getting changed. It had only be a silhouette, but still, it had been enough for her imagination to fill in the rest.

Crying brought her back to what she was doing and she giggled a little and ran off to grab more candy to keep the babies quiet. She 'gently' placed the candy in all three of the baby's mouths and went back to choosing outfits.

"Oooh!" She called out happily and grabbed out a box. It was a costume she'd made herself, like the Allen one, and it was brilliant!

She grabbed the newest baby, accidently causing it to drop the food from its mouth, which was fine because Road has seemingly limitless supplies of sugary foods, some of which she shoved into the babies mouth to replace the lost food.

She changed the baby into the new outfit, with the puffy cream-colored coat, top hat, and painted on wide toothy smile. Yes. There was now a chibi Allen and chibi Millennium Earl in Road's bedroom. Well, technically they were babies, not chibi's, but still, there were very cute!

Oddly the Allen baby started crying when the Earl baby was placed next to him, and the Earl baby responded by pulling on Allen's face, causing the baby to cry more and hit the Earl in response.

Road giggled and sat down to watch it. "Even as babies they fight!" She laughed, not moving at all to stop the fight that had the Earl baby winning, despite the fact Allen baby was bigger and older.

Road jumped slightly when there was a sinister and very familiar laugh behind her. She jumped up and began playfully attacking the Earl. "You didn't even knock before coming into my room!"

He chuckled slightly. "Road-chan, calm down, calm down. I heard crying and got worried. Which leads me to my question Road...Why do you have babies in your room; dressed as Allen Walker and myself? :heart:"

Road giggled again. "Aren't they cute! I also have a pumpkin!" She picked up the pumpkin baby and showed it to the Earl who sweat-dropped in response.

"Yes, they're very cute Road-chan. But why are they in your room?"

"Why else am I meant to keep them?"

He sweat-dropped again. "Why do you have them at all?"

Road giggled again. "Because they're so cute! And look, you're beating Allen!"

By now Allen had waddled off crying and the Earl was left grinning, or was that just the make-up Road had used?

The Earl looked at it and chuckled a bit. "They are quite cute...Road-chan, can I keep that one?" He asked, pointing at the Earl baby.

Road blinked and looked at him for a moment, having not expected that at all. She burst into laughter and nodded. "Sure thing! When it cries just stick some candy in its mouth!" She went over and picked the baby up, then handed it to the Earl who cuddled the baby almost...sweetly.

Road giggled again and waved happily as the Earl left with the baby then paused in the doorway. "Think you could make a Lero toy for it?"

Road giggled again and nodded. "Sure! If it doesn't hold it you could glue it on!" She giggled again and went and cuddled Allen as the Earl left.

Allen cried when Road hugged him and she pouted slightly. "Hey! You can't cry when I hug you!" She hugged it tighter, which didn't help the crying. As a result she put it down and went off sulking, then decided to go for a new baby to cheer herself up.


	4. Chapter three, gang of Chibi

Tyki sighed heavily as he returned to the arc. He'd somehow failed to kill Walker yet again and it was really starting to annoy him. Maybe he should give him to Road to look after. He'd probably want to die after a little while of that, but God only knows what Road would do to the boy, and Tyki would like to keep it that way.

He opened his bedroom door, hoping to take a nice long rest before the Earl realised he was back and told him off for not killing Allen. Again. Honestly, why couldn't the boy have just stayed dead?

He was about to step into his room when his brain caught up to his eyes and he stopped moving. His mouth opened in shock and he looked at the scene for a moment before slamming his door shut and resting his back against it.

"No." He said firmly then reopened his door, hoping to find the horrifying vision gone.

In his room were about ten babies in Exorcist coats, all of them clearly representing different Exorcists, one of them Tyki recognised quickly by the red hair and eye patch and another he recognised by the sour expression and sword pointing at the red head.

There were also all the Noah's as babies and Tyki sniffed the air worriedly and smelt paint. Road had _painted_ the babies.

One could ask how exactly Tyki knew it was Road, but then again, out of everyone who could have done it there was only one person who would have done it, and that was made clear by the candy wrappers and absence of a particular white haired Exorcist.

Tyki paused in his thought as he wondered just what Road was planning on doing to that particular baby. He really hoped his worries were unfounded.

He shut his door again and walked off a little bit and then called out "Road!" very loudly, hoping she wouldn't hear the anger and not come.

Luckily she didn't seem to and she came skipping alone and wrapped her arms around Tyki. "What's up Tyki-pon?" She asked innocently.

Tyki glared at her. "Road. Why are there babies dressed as Noah and Exorcist's in my room?"

Road seemed only to become happier at that. "Oh! You found them! I'm so glad! I've been looking for them all day!"

Tyki's eye twitched at this. "Road, I think you should take the babies back to where they belong."

Road pouted at Tyki. "Naw! But they're so cute and-"

"No Road. Take them back."

Road shuffled a bit. "But, um…"

Tyki sighed. "Please tell me you know where they came from."

"Of course! I've had 'the talk' you don't have to worry about that!"

"That's not what I meant Road."

Road pouted again and sighed. "But Tyki-pon! They're so cute! I even made one of you!"

Tyki's eye twitched again. "Road, please, for what's left of my sanity, take them home."

"But-"

"No buts! Take them back." Tyki ordered, to which Road pouted and sulked off.

Tyki watched her and sighed. "She's not taking them back, is she?" He asked rhetorically and closed his eyes for a moment. "Maybe I can just ignore them. There are plenty of spare rooms." He mused to himself.

A moment after that the Earl appeared, as he often did, only this time it was…different.

"Hello Tyki-pon."

At that moment it clicked and Tyki understood why he hadn't noticed before. He didn't want to. "Yes…" He said, having managed to forget what the Earl had said in his shock.

The Earl had a baby version of himself perched on his shoulder and a second baby on his head dressed as his hat.

"Tyki-pon, are you paying attention?"

"Huh?"

The Earl sighed. "How's Allen Walker going?"

Tyki paled and managed to look away from the babies. "Uh." He responded, not too keen on admitting he'd failed again.

"I see. Not to worry Tyki-pon, I'm sure you'll get it done some time."

Tyki knew he was in trouble so didn't bother to correct the Earl's name for him. "Uh, yes, I should probably go now." He said, his eyes drifting back to the baby hat.

"No no Tyki-pon. Stay for a while."

"Earl-sama, please don't call me that."

"Ho ho ho, come Tyki-pon :heart:."

Tyki sighs and follows the Earl as the man leads him down a corridor past Roads room. Suddenly there was a baby's scream and Tyki looks at the door worriedly.

"Oh, don't worry about that. You'll get used to it."

"Get used to it?" Tyki yelled in shock and opened the door almost violently. "Road, what-" He froze at the sight…

**Dun dun dun! What is Road doing to Allen baby? Hahaha, sorry about the long wait! Promise it won't take as long next time, but that'll be the last chapter!**


	5. Cyril: Road has babies?

There, on Road Kamelot's bed was Allen baby, surrounded by a swarm of akuma toys with very sharp things attached to them. They were also moving slightly, closing in on the poor little baby with their sharp, _were those thumbtacks?_

Road Kamelot was laying on the floor, her legs swaying around as she happily watched the poor baby panicking.

Tyki ran in and scooped the baby off the bed and looked over at Road, who was pouting back at him.

"Tyki-poooo~n! Wht did you do that?" She whined at him.

"Road-chan, this has gone too far. First you fill my room with babies dressed as Noah and Exorcists, and now you're trying to kill this baby that you've dressed as the person I'm supposed to be killing."

Road merely nods at him. "Yeah~ but so what? The Earl likes it."

The Earl nods in agreement. "Indeed. It's most wonderful."

Tyki sighs. "Look Road, this baby is going to need the bathroom at some stage. What are you going to do then?"

"Duh, use the akuma!"

Tyki was saved from trying to find an argument with that by a very loud yell that could be heard from all over the arc.

"OH MY GOD, ROAD KAMELOT, YOU HAD A BABY?" There, with a baby Road at his feet stood Cyril Kamelot, Road's adopted father.

Road giggled and ran off to appease her clearly worried adoptive father. "Don't worry daddy! It's not really my baby."

Cyril looked at Road disbelievingly. "Then who's is it?"

"Uuuuuuum." Road puts a finger to her mouth as she thinks it over for a bit. "Not sure, I found her in a park or a shop or something...I don't know."

Cyril frowns and shakes his head at his (very cute) adoptive daughter. "Road, I want you to get rid of these babies. I don't want you getting any ideas..."

"Eh? Ideas of what?"

"Having your own baby of course! I forbid you to!"

Road merely giggles and hugs her adoptive father. "Don't worry! I won't~!"

And that began the rather large argument between the Noah about the babies. Cryil and Tyki were of course against keeping them, Road, the Earl and Lullubell wanted to keep them, Lullubell wanted to keep them because she didn't really care and Road bribed her into voting to keep them. Jesdevi (Their votes only counted as one) wanted to get rid of the babies because they were annoying and 'not cute dammit'. This left them at a tie, so the next person to come along would get to decide it.

Wisely came up and looked at the scene and, after being briefed about it by everyone yelling at once voted to get rid of the babies in a particular way that had everyone in agreement.

Send the babies to the Exorcist's head quarters.

(A/N Please ignore that the Noah don't know where that is, hahaha)

* * *

><p>Kanda woke up, as usual, in a bad mood. He decided to go outside, as it was too early for breakfast to be ready yet. When he opened his bedroom door however he quickly shut it again, refusing to acknowledge what he'd just seen. He opened his door again and this time just stepped over the baby at his door that was dressed to look like him, complete with a wooden sword.<p>

Lenalee, Allen, Lavi, Bookman and all the other exorcists awoke to a similar problem, although they dealt with it differently.

Lenalee swooned and hugged the baby and began looking after it as her own straight away, Allen cried because the baby was him before he got cursed so it made him think of Mana, Lavi laughed and began playing games with the baby, Bookman thought for a bit and then took the baby to Komui, who was delighting in his own baby version.

"Komui-san, we have to-"

"Waaaaaaa, who's a cute little baby~?" Komui asked the Bookman baby, who merely glared at him, as did the actual Bookman.

"Komui-san, this is a serious situation." The rest of Bookman's day was spent attempting to get Komui to understand that this was not just cute, but it was actually serious. He failed miserably.

Allen eventually got over the initial missing of Mana and picked his baby form up, cuddling it and showing it love that he missed out on. He then took it to the kitchen and fed it way too much food.

Lenalee began trying to teach her baby form to walk and then read to it and basically tried to teach it everything she thought it should know.

Kanda...Well, Kanda continued to ignore his baby form and everyone else who was with a baby.

Lavi was now outside, swinging his baby form around and they were both laughing like mad.

When Kanda went to the training room he paled and then glared at the babies there. These were the Noah babies. He growled and unsheathed Mugen, planning on slicing the babies to pieces.

Luckily Lavi happened to want to show his baby form how to fight so also went to the training rooms and jumped in front of Kanda. "Oi! You can't attack helpless babies!"

Knda glared at Lavi. "Yes I can." He said, trying to push Lavi out of the way.

Lavi activated his hammer and did his best to stop Kanda from hurting any of the babies but was about to fail when Lenalee stormed over, having heard their fighting. She kicked Kanda in the head, hard, which caused him to finally back down.

"Che." He grumbled before walking off.

Eventually Bookman convinced Komui to send the babies back to their families, after finding their families that was.

The Earl seemed to have paused the fighting which allowed the Exorcists to use the Finders just to get the babies back where they belonged with a little help from the Exorcists.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry the ending sucks so bad...-.-'<strong>


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